Have you ever heard someone say, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result“? That’s just wrong. No, it’s insanely wrong. (Irony! Actual definition, click here).
- If you flip a coin 5 times and it comes up heads each time, is it insane to think it might come up tails next time?
- If you play golf in a lightning storm five times and never get hit, is it insane to think you might get a nice electrical jolt next time?
- If you root for the Browns to win a football game and they never do, is it insane to think they never will? [Note to self: Delete that. Bad example. It is true that they might never win a game. Shameful admission: I am a Browns fan.]
My consistent advice to companies that use independent contractors is to be proactive. Review your policies, practices, and documents now — before you get sued or audited. Many take this advice. Those who do not generally give two reasons:
- We don’t want to spend the money now; and
- We’ve always done it this way and have never been sued.
Folks, that kind of thinking is: n. extreme foolishness; folly; senselessness; foolhardiness.
Here are a few quick facts:
- Every company that has been sued for independent contractor misclassification had never been sued before the first time it was sued.
- Every company that has been audited for independent contractor misclassification had never been audited before the first time it was audited.
What is a “temporary employee”? I have practiced employment law for 20 years (Note to self: Keep practicing; someday you’ll get good at it.) and I can’t tell you. It’s a state secret. All lawyers have been sworn to secrecy forever.
Among James Bond films, Rotten Tomatoes ranks Never Say Never Again 18th out of 26, with a mediocre 63% rating. (Bond movie quiz at the end of this post, for patient readers.)
The great scholar Mick Jagger reminds his followers that you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes well you might find you get what you need. This is good advice, not just for Mr. Jimmy (who did look pretty ill), but also for companies who use independent contractors.
In December 1965, the Beatles released Rubber Soul, which led with Drive My Car. (“Asked a girl what she wanted to be/She said Baby, can’t you see?/I want to be famous, a star on the screen/But you can do something in between.”) 
ADA Quick Quiz: Your company uses staffing agency workers. A staffing agency worker discloses a medical need and asks for a reasonable accommodation — maybe a computer screen reading program, or an ergonomic chair, or a modified work schedule.
At the end of Pixar’s Up, Carl and Russell sit on a curb pointing out cars: “Red one!” “Blue one!” Then Dug (the dog) calls out “Gray one!” which I find endlessly funny every time I watch it.
It’s summer intern hiring season. Can your interns be unpaid? If you pay them something, can you pay a small stipend that amounts to less than minimum wage?