Image from The Jet Set
My favorite news story from last week was United Airlines’ decision not to allow a woman to fly with her emotional support peacock. Peacocks are pretty, strutting their feathery stuff to attract the smokin’ hot peafowl ladies, but they’re not cuddly, and they don’t belong in the tight quarters of commercial aircraft.
I did my research here, and I can confirm they’re not even good house pets. According to an Information Leaflet published by the Wrexham County (U.K.) Borough Council, peafowl have not taken well to modern methods of human transport. The Leaflet warns potential peafowl pet owners, “Peafowl for some reason are fond of cars and enjoy standing on them. They will also attack their reflection in cars and cause damage by scratching and pecking them.” They also have a “very loud high-pitched meow like call.”
None of this sounds like what I want in a seatmate on a commuter flight out of Newark.
Anyway, the point here is that looking pretty isn’t enough. Continue reading
“Whenever he gets in a fix, he reaches into his bag of tricks!” Yes, boys and girls, I am talking about Felix the Cat, whose magical bag of tricks could be transformed to get him out of any treacherous situation. Don’t you wish you had one of those?
Well, I won’t share mine, but I can offer this tip, which may help you avoid a treacherous situation.
This weekend I was reading a California decision on independent contractor misclassification. (I do other, more fun things in my free time too, so don’t make fun. Ok, you should make fun a little.) While analyzing Right to Control factors, the court ruled that the worst fact for the business was that it could terminate the contractor at will. The ability to terminate a relationship at will, the court ruled, was the “ultimate” form of control! Really? I agree it’s a factor among many, but the “ultimate factor”? Come on.
Anyway, this problem is easily avoided with some creativity. Allow me to reach into my bag of tricks.
The Monty Hall puzzle is a brain teaser based on the game show, Let’s Make a Deal. The contestant is presented with three doors and must choose one. Choose the correct door and win a car. Choose either of the wrong doors and win a goat. (Note to rural readers: The puzzle is a first-world conundrum and assumes you’d prefer the car.)
Once the contestant chooses, the host opens one of the doors with a goat and asks the contestant whether he wants to stay with his original choice or choose the other unopened door. As explained here, the contestant should always switch doors, since switching provides a 2/3 chance to win. The math here is not intuitive, but read about it and you’ll understand.
The gimmick relies on the fact that the host knows what’s behind each door and will only reveal a door that hides a goat. The host never reveals a car.
I am often asked for a sample Independent Contractor Agreement. I do a lot of work in this area, so I should have plenty, right? Well, sure, I have drafted dozens, but they won’t do you much good.
A generic Independent Contractor Agreement that includes a few boilerplate recitals is of little value. A generic agreement probably says something like, “We all agree that you’re an independent contractor and not an employee. We won’t pay employment taxes for you. We’re not paying into your Social Security account or providing you workers’ comp or unemployment coverage. We’re not giving you benefits. You’re lucky if we let you breathe the air in our building. No, you know what, bring your own oxygen tank. You can’t use our air. You agree to all of this and you’ll like it. And Thank you sir, may I have another?”
Your contracts with staffing agencies and consultants probably include a bunch of legalese boilerplate mumbo jumbo at the end, which no one ever reads. One of those standard clauses is a “force majeure” clause. That’s French for “Skim over this clause.”
Companies affected by Irma and Harvey, however, may have good reason to check their contracts for these clauses. “Force majeure” means, literally, superior force.
These clauses typically say that So-and-so is excused from performing under the contract in the event of uncontrollable circumstances, such as war, terrorism, hurricanes, voodoo curses, other Acts of God, or anything caused by Pedro Cerrano and Joboo’s Cult (Major League) [Ed. Note: “Hats for Bats!”].
If you google “Quotes about Opportunity,” you’ll find 1273 quotes on Goodreads.com. Everyone’s interested in opportunities. But when it comes to business relationships, don’t let others take yours.
When servicing a customer, businesses often call upon use subcontractors for help. That can be a win-win, so long as the subcontractor does not try to poach the relationship once that deal is done.
Consider protecting the opportunities you present to subcontractors with a non-circumvention clause. The concept here is that when your business has introduced a subcontractor to a customer to work on a project, the subcontractor should not be Continue reading
Companies in distress sometimes retain management consultants to try to turn them around. Sometimes the plan works, sometimes not. When the turnaround effort fails and the company shuts down, can the management company be held liable as a joint employer?
This issue arose recently in a WARN Act case. The federal WARN Act requires an employer, before ordering a plant shutdown or mass layoff, to provide 60 days’ notice and pay to its employees.
Here’s what happened. A nursing home with multiple Medicare and Medicaid violations retained a consulting firm to try to solve its many problems. The consulting firm Continue reading