Snakes have been in the news lately. A Maryland man was recently found dead in his home, killed by a venomous snake bite. This might seem surprising, until you learn that the same man kept 124 pet snakes in his house, including rattlesnakes, cobras, black mambas and a 14-foot-long Burmese python.

I also learned this week of a horrifying tourist attraction in Manitoba called the Snakes of Narcisse, where you can view “tens of thousands of red-sided garter snakes as they slither to the surface from their winter dens.” Tourists can view the dens and the snakes’ “mating balls,” in which “one [unlucky] female is surrounded by up to one hundred males.” Brackets are mine, since this can’t be fun for the snakestress, no matter how many cocktails are involved.

According to Quizlet, six colleges and universities have snakes for mascots. I won’t spoil the surprise. You can click here for the big reveal.

For student-athletes at these six schools, plus those at every other non-snake-themed college, there’s a Third Circuit case that’s worth watching.

The Third Circuit has agreed to hear a case that poses the following question: “Whether NCAA Division I student athletes can be employees of the colleges and universities they attend for purposes of the Fair Labor Standards Act solely by virtue of their participation in interscholastic athletics.“

If the Third Circuit says yes, student-athletes may be entitled to millions of dollars in back wages under the FLSA. A ‘yes’ ruling would be deadly venom to just about every non-major sports program, since schools have no budget to pay wages to student-athletes. Very few programs in very few sports actually make money.

For those who brought this suit and think they are advocating for the student, be careful what you wish for. If the Third Circuit rules that student-athletes are entitled to be paid, college sports are largely dead. Women’s sports would take the biggest hit, as would every other program that isn’t a top-tier college football or basketball program raking in the cash.

This is a case to watch closely. If student-athletes are entitled to be paid, there would no longer be any distinction between amateurs and professionals. The whole concept of the student-athlete — and almost all of college sports — would go the way of the Round Island Burrowing Boa. That’s an extinct snake that used to live in Mauritius, says wikipedia.

© 2022 Todd Lebowitz, posted on WhoIsMyEmployee.com, Exploring Issues of Independent Contractor Misclassification and Joint Employment. All rights reserved.